Sunday, May 19, 2013

Pitcher's Promise


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I’ll be your Ace.

I’ll be around.

If you throw me the ball I will pitch it. I will pitch it past every batter that can get to the plate.

I will strike them out. I will shut them down. I will dominate.

I will protect you. I will carry you on my back.

I need you to protect me too.

I will throw the fastball, I will blindside the best of them. I will leave them whistling in wonder at the glory of my pitch.

I will strike out the side.

I will love you if you let me.

I’ll be your Ace.

I’ll be around.



Sunday, April 21, 2013

Santa Boulevard

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Santa got pulled over: 5:30 PM, December 24, Abernathy Boulevard across from the plaza.

The officers- Denzie and Fuller- got out of their car and approached the sleigh.

Santa, jolly: “Ho ho ho! Was I going too fast? You boys have to forgive me! I’m a very busy man tonight!” He smiled wide.

Denzie held the flashlight up to the reindeer.

Fuller, thumbs in his belt: “What’s in the bag, sir?”

Santa looked to the sack in the back, laughing. “Why, that’s just TOYS!!! Toys for every good boy and girl in the world! Merry Christmas!”

Denzie approached Santa from the other side. “What’s in the bag, sir?”

Santa chuckled, and then in a booming voice: “TOYS!!! I was just telling your partner! That’s a bag of TOYS!!!”

Fuller walked to the rear of the sleigh. “Can we take a look in the bag, sir?”

Santa laughed hearty. “Of course you can! It’s just bag full of TOYS!” 

He swallowed hard. “Merry Christmas!”

Fuller pulled a duct-taped freezer bag out of the sack.

Santa watched. “TOYS!!!”

Sgt. Fuller cut the bag with his utility knife, dipping his finger into the white powder. Tasting it.

“This is PCP. Angel dust.”

TOYS!!!” Santa bellowed.

Denzie shook his head. “Do you know what this stuff does to kids?”

“You don’t understand,” Santa said, “I was just holding it. For a friend.”

Denzie looked at Fuller.

TOYS!!!”

Fuller smiled at Santa: "You're going away for a lot of years, you fat son of a bitch."

"But... TOYS!"

Denzie slipped the cuffs on as Fuller radioed in.

“You boys don’t understand! Christmas cheer! To the children! TOYS!!!”

A group of neighborhood kids gathered to watch the cops shove the old man in the squad car easy.

The children- hearts broke- turned away from Santa and headed home. But they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all! And I’m not saying a motherfucking word without my lawyer!”


Friday, April 19, 2013

Some Spring Nights

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Some Spring nights- but not this one- you can easily misunderstand the signals. You can spot the dead rabbit in the shock of green grass, and the newborn baby in the branches of the budding oak tree. I did. I saw them both on the way home from work.

Life... death... do they still make Snapple? Stop at the pharmacy for a cigar because smoke is something, well it used to be, at one time, long story, sister... this parking lot used to be full with my friends. 

But now I’m just a guy, stranger in a home land, khaki pants and cash and maybe the kid behind the counter knows what it’s all about. Maybe he’ll have the answer in his eyes.

What are the odds.

Aisles of every of everything, things I didn’t know I’d need until this moment, product and solution as a cure for the cancer of the soul, a disease I contracted when the television commercials told me so and big thank you to everyone for the production. I blessed the rains down in Africa.

Nights like this... when I’m thinking too clearly. When I see too much. When I can be there for everyone. Make your day right. Set you on the trail. Heal your heart. Hold your hand. There is not enough of me, and for that I am sorry.

Summer candy on sale because nothing says summer like the melting of chocolate and the smell of chlorine. See, I took you here... to the pharmacy, and back, in my car, with your wanderlust, all for cling peaches, and now we're back on the road and heading home. My apologies for taking you out of space-time as you know it but you needed it, I know that you needed it and now you do too and now...


Now I want you to feel the grass underneath your feet. The grass is growing. The Earth is moving and you’re moving with it. The heat is inside you, waiting to come out, and you will be with the rest. Just you wait for one of those magical nights in Spring because they happen- not tonight- but it will because it always does.